Yes, it's that time of year again. For the last 5 years, Alan has been the proud owner of an allotment and every spring, excitement mounts as he plans, cogitates and prepares his garden. As usual our lovely sunny conservatory is turned into a smelly potting shed. Potatoes have been carefully laid out on egg boxes and picnic tables covered in newspaper are arranged with seed trays full of dirty compost.
Alan continues to display strange behaviour on a regular basis, and this weekend has been no different. I have to admit to being slightly confused when yesterday, he spent 4 hours at the allotment in continuous heavy driving rain, only to arrive home completely dry? Now, there could be various reasons for this. Is Alan having an affair? Is Alan sat idrinking tea n the Allotment Shop with Stuart, the manager? God forbid, is Alan having an affair with the Allotment Shop Manager?!! During intensive questioning, Alan finally confessed that he had been shopping. Now, those of you that know Alan will know that this is his other hobby and is perfectly believable however later observations have thrown up some doubt. The poorly geranium on our kitchen windowsill, has no leaves and bright red blooms on 12inch stems. As it is in dire need of chopping up and having cuttings taking, I queried this with Alan. He simply replied that he "had no compost". Now, interestingly, Alan stated yesterday that he had been shopping to the garden centre. Do you not think that compost would have been purchased then? Alan said that he had forgotten it but I am not so sure. I think I need to keep a close eye on Alan and Stuart. Watch this space.
Today, Although I tasked Alan to find a little holiday cottage for us to rent, he was once again distracted and drew a very detailed plan of what is going to be grown on his allotment. There will be juicy soft summer fruits, bright coulorful scented flowers and delicious freshly grown vegetables. One spot on the map was simply marked "gooseberry" but I was not able to work out if this was a fruit bush or where Alan would sit to have his lunch! I don't think he was amused when I questioned him. Oh, and we still don't have a holiday cottage booked.
Today the sun came out and Alan was chuffed with his progress. The egg trays full of smelly shooting potatoes were removed from the conservatory (hooray), and Alan proudly announced that he now had 7 rows of potatoes planted and ready to grow. Oh dear, I thought. When will Alan realise that there are only 2 of us here to feed. Recently I passed a maths qualification needed for a course that I am enrolled to. This came in very handy for working out the following. If Alan planted an average of 12 potatoes per row, and each plant produces approximately 10 potatoes, I make that a total of 840 potatoes arriving in the summer. Considering that we eat a lot of rice and pasta and only about 20 potatoes a month, I forecast that we will have a surplus of about 600 potatoes!
I will keep you updated with the status of the allotment over the next few months but in the meantime, I need to get on the phone and see if I can do a deal with Mr Walkers.
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